Working towards being a better me

I’m so sick of being ignored, being told i’m not good enough and constantly broken up with. Then, all of my support system are like “the right guy will come along” yeah, I think its hard to wait for that in a string a heartbreaks by douchebags. 

I am finally finishing up some paintings. woot woot. 

I really wish a handful of sleeping pills could bring me happiness.

Yet another night is spent crying on my couch. At least this time around It’s a new, although expensive, couch. So, the story this time around is because of a guy. We had been dating for a month then out of the blue he goes M.I.A when we were supposed to have a date. So anyways, now I am sitting here devastated but unable to turn to anyone because I just feel like burden. This stuff happens all the time to me, so I guess I am a bit of a broken record.

It’s funny being bi-polar because you are kind of like a duck swimming. Everything seems calm and normal when really you are going out of your fucking mind.

I’m bored and lonely and therefore seeking destruction because its what the crazy side of me knows best. I was calm and happy earlier but for some reason Sunday at this time I always go off my rocker. I am sure I sound like a broken record, but I wish I was normal an operated like an average human being. Instead, I have overdramatic mood swings.

Guys can be such babies. Okay you have a cyst in your armpit, that sucks. While you take of work and be an ass about it, let me remind you I had cancer cell in my cervix and had them scraped on my lunch hour. Shit happens, get over it.